I feel strangely exhausted today. As if all of my life force has been drained by a sub-space alien that is well-meaning, but is also just hungry. No, I don’t agree, there is no such thing as watching too much Star Trek.
As a result, I’m trying to go slowly today and set my expectations low. I know that everything will get done eventually and I’m learning to be okay with the idea that maybe I’m quite a low energy person. Have you observed this? That there are people who naturally seem to contain more energy than others? No matter how much coffee I drink, I will never have the energy my mother has before 7am. As a teenager, I would often emerge downstairs on weekends to find that she’d baked, cleaned and been out walking, all before even the birds had had their coffee.
If I tend towards the quiet and slow, maybe my role is to be a counter balance to the more hyperactive people around me? I’m not sure. I do know it makes coffee even MORE important in my life! I need the chemical kick in the ass. Do you think you are high energy or low energy? Or maybe you vary wildly?
Regardless, I’m particularly excited about my regular Saturday morning in bed reading this week (I’m finally going to start John Green’s newest book!). And I have lots of great links to share with you, so you can relax and read too.
There has been such an incredible push to talk more about depression in the last few years. I’m very gratedul for that, I know that it’s helped me. The coverage in the media, the openness of celebrities, the way it is taught in schools, all of these steps have helped us to better understand depression and remove some of the isolation and stigma surrounding it. It’s still fucking hard to deal with though. With all the willingness in the world, it can be hard to know what to say, whether you are the friend or the person struggling.
When I’m feeling very down, or very anxious, I always wish my head was an Etch-a-Sketch and I could just shake away all of the constant, endless negative thoughts that seem to latch onto my brain. I really identify with this quote from Matt Haig: “It is very hard to explain to people who have never known serious depression or anxiety the sheer continuous intensity of it. There is no off switch.” That feeling of intensity and grinding inevitability is really hard to communicate and really difficult to empathise with from the outside.
I think this article by Heather Murphy gives some really straightforward, helpful advice about how a person feeling depressed might be feeling and how to talk to someone who is suffering from depression. Namely, ‘don’t underestimate the power of showing up’ and the excellent, ‘don’t try to cheer them up’.
The style of writing in this article by Elizabeth Weil is incredible- really intimate, like a friend telling you a secret, but also so odd, with unexpected sentences and perspectives. The story is also pretty wonderful. Weil writes about the queer culture of Brooklyn’s teenagers through the eyes of three Park Slope teens who are in an open relationship.
I didn’t think, at this point, that Fred Rogers- Mister Rogers- could be any more beloved. And then I read this.
I love non-glamourous weird food. The kind of food that is copious, and delicious, that you crave. My favourite of this type of food is weird pizza. You know, pizza that has weird toppings like chocolate and feta or cheetos and ricotta. This article by Ann Friedman about taco pizza hits the nail on the head. (I also love weird toast, which is why I had marmite and peanut butter this morning.)